Psychology

blog_urgent_need

Our Urgent Need for Self-Esteem

in

 

Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves. That judgment impacts every moment and every aspect of our existence. Our self-evaluation is the basic context in which we act and react, choose our values, set our goals, meet the challenges that confront us. Our responses to events are shaped in part by whom and what we think we are—our self-esteem. 

Competent to Cope

Self-esteem is the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness. It consists of two components: 1) self-efficacy—confidence in our ability to think, learn, choose, and make appropriate decisions; and 2) self-respect—confidence in our right to be happy; and in the belief that achievement, success, friendship, respect, love and fulfillment are appropriate to us.

The basic challenges of life include such fundamentals as being able More >

blog_spiritual_discipline

Self-Esteem as a Spiritual Discipline

in ,

Hello, everyone! Think about this and tell me what you think.

 

Self-Esteem as a Spiritual Discipline

Four decades ago, when I began lecturing on self-esteem, the challenge was to persuade people that the subject was worthy of study. Almost no one was talking about self-esteem in those days. Today, almost everyone seems to be talking about self-esteem, and the danger is that the idea may become trivialized.

And yet, of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves: it touches the very core of our existence. Some part of us knows this. We know that more fateful by far than what others think of us is what we think of ourselves.

“Self-esteem” is sometimes used interchangeably with “self-image,” which is unfortunate, because the concept is much deeper than any “image.” Self-esteem is a More >

blog_definitions

The Importance of Definitions

in ,

Not long ago, I was asked to submit a paper that would address the following question: Now that more and more psychologists are doing research and writing books and articles about self-esteem, what do I see as the immediate challenges facing those who work in the field? In response, I submitted this short essay.

The Importance of Definitions

Some years ago, a number of professors, interested in self-esteem, were invited to contribute essays to a book entitled The Social Importance of Self-Esteem, edited by Andrew Mecca, Neil J. Smelser, and John Vasconcellos, and to be published by the University of California Press. I attended a self-esteem conference and found myself sitting next to one of the professors who would be contributing an essay.

I asked him what definition of self-esteem he was working for and if it was shared by the other contributors.

I was astonished to see him draw More >

Nurturing Self-Esteem in Young People

in ,

Some time ago I was invited to contribute a paper that would suggest ways that parents, teachers and therapists could nurture self-esteem in children. I offer this paper in its original form, unchanged, as it was addressed to colleagues.

Nurturing Self-Esteem in Young People

If we are to consider how self-esteem is best nurtured in young people, we must first be clear on what we mean by “self-esteem.” So I shall begin with a definition.

Self-esteem is the disposition to experience oneself as being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life, and as being worthy of happiness. Thus, it consists of two components: (1) self-efficacy — confidence in one’s ability to think, learn, choose, and make appropriate decisions; and (2) self-respect — confidence that love, friendship, achievement, success — in a word, happiness — are natural and appropriate (Branden, 1994).

If a person felt inadequate More >

Answering Misconceptions about Self-Esteem

in ,

1. Does self-esteem mean feeling good about yourself?

Self-esteem is an experience. It is a particular way of experiencing the self. It is a good deal more than a mere feeling. It involves emotional, evaluative, and cognitive components. It also entails certain action dispositions: to move toward life rather than away from it; to move toward consciousness rather than away from it; to treat facts with respect rather than denial; to operate self-responsibly rather than the opposite.

Self-esteem is the disposition to experience oneself as being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness. It is confidence in the efficacy of our mind, in our ability to think. By extension, it is confidence in our ability to learn, make appropriate choices and decisions, and respond effectively to change. It is also the experience that success, achievement, fulfillment-happiness-are right and natural for us.

Self-esteem More >

Self-concept is Destiny

in

I met her when she came to a workshop I was conducting on “Self-esteem and the Art of Being.”

She was thirty-two years old, pretty, and worked as a receptionist in a law firm. Early in life she had decided that she knew what she was—“a bad girl.” How else could she explain the endless screaming reproaches of her mother, and the emotional coldness of her father, and a home that lacked any trace of love, affection, or kindness? As an adult, she supported the claim that she was a bad girl trough sexual promiscuity, and an inability to remain faithful to any lover or boyfriend.

I met him at the same self-esteem workshop as the one where I met her.

He was thirty-five, athletic, and worked as an artist in an advertising firm. He had come to the United States from Norway.

Months later—when he became a therapy client—he More >

Newsweek Interview: Is Romance Dead? A new book offers advice for sustaining love in an ‘anti-romantic age.’

in

Newsweek: Selfishness isn’t usually the word we use to describe love.

Of all the nonsense written about love, none is more absurd than the notion that ideal love is selfless. To love is to see myself in you and to wish to celebrate myself with you. What I love is the embodiment of my values in another person. Love is an act of self-assertion, self-expression and a celebration of being alive.

We welcome your comments, but please read our comment guidelines.

Go to Top